Please Read This.

I want to start off by saying.. I AM SO SORRY!!

These are the things I'm sorry for not doing:
I'm sorry for not keeping up with my blog like I'm called to do.
I'm sorry for not being as prayerful as I should be.
I'm sorry for not holding my friend's accountable.
I'm sorry for not sharing my faith.
I'm sorry for not showing Christ's love.
I'm sorry for not being real with all of you.
I'm sorry for not being the encouragement I need to be.
I'm sorry for not lifting you guys up, but instead bringing you down.

These are the things I'm sorry for doing:
I'm sorry for being so negative.
I'm sorry for building a wall around my heart.
I'm sorry for caring so much about myself I couldn't stop being sad long enough to help you guys.
I'm sorry for blowing some of you off.
I'm sorry for letting you down.
I'm sorry for everything.

I wanted to make that list so that you guys could see point blank my faults. I'm not going to try to cover them up because that's pride and let's be honest, you guys know that I'm not perfect so I don't see why I should pretend to be. I am so sorry for pushing you guys further out of my life just because I was afraid if you got too close you would hurt me...

I learned recently that by pushing you guys away I was only hurting myself more. I would rather be backstabbed or brokenhearted or ANYTHING than be alone. It's not fair to you if I don't even give you a chance. I never understood how my friends could really like me, but I've got Jesus in me! And I'm so blessed to have friends that love Jesus. When I saw this it made sense.

SO! I want to say again that I'm so sorry and whether you choose to forgive me or not is up to you.. And I can't blame you either way.. I just don't want to leave things the way they are because in life I want to improve my relationship with God and my relationships with others.

I love you guys so much.